<jbenedetto> 04:42 < __20h___> In some regions of the world clocks are running slower.
<jbenedetto> 04:42 < __20h___> How do you synchronize that?
<jbenedetto> 20h. pro troll detected.
<bblum> hahaha
<jbenedetto> HI BILLY MAYS HERE, ARE YOUR CLOCKS RUNNING TOO SLOW DUE TO YOUR GEOPHYSICAL LOCATION ON THE PLANET? TRY NEW NTP WITH OXYCLEAN CLOCK SYNC BOOSTING CAPIBILITIES!
<jbenedetto> JUST A FEW SPRAYS OF NTP, AND YOUR CLOCK PROBLEMS ARE GONE!

#define MAX(x,y) ((x>y)?(x):(y))

MAX(x++,y++) /* you lose */

--15-410 lecture slide

<lokkje> most of cmubash is carp
<ricky> The rest is flounder

< zsparks> disregard the above
< zsparks> i am a shitty dancer
<@nwf> zsparks: Disregard the above, you suck cocks?
<@mrwright> Does he ever!
< zsparks> *sigh*
< zsparks> It's true...
< jbenedetto> nwf: i suspect thats where he was going
< zsparks> Wiat
< zsparks> fuck
< zsparks> fuck
< zsparks> fuck
< zsparks> GOd damn.
< j4cbo> pwt
< zsparks> What j4cbo typed into my compy
< zsparks> Not what nwf said.
< zsparks> Fuck.
< zsparks> God damn.

"It's like the opposite of a gateway drug. Once you take it, you don't want any more." -rbraun, about 76-101

8:30, 2315, Monday after KGB Useless Stuff Auction

Professor Armitage: *looks at hubcap on chair, picks it up, and displays it to class* There's an interesting story behind this, I'm sure, a hubcap in the lecture hall. I don't know if it has anything to do with the stuffed gerbil wearing chainmail, but....huh.

*looks around, discovering a pair of cheap sunglasses* Oh, wow! *puts them on* You just never know what you're going to find in here. Wild weekend, I guess.

Commenting on braiding mjrosenb's hair
ksubrama: Who is that and what have you done to my Marty? He now has alien antenna thingy's circling his head.
aliza: Well I just added a bunch of ports to him so you can charge him better now. Oh wait...
ksubrama: Well I think he was already equipped with ports to charge him...

<nwf> Oh oh oh, so... apparently holy water works by homeopathy. If you have some water, and you introduce holy water, the whole thing is now holy.
<talchas> nwf: at least in nethack thats true
<robomancer> nwf: it's true because it's how nethack works
<robomancer> efb

"0 is a multiple of 100, just a small multiple." - Avrim Blum

[ Rudich had been using drunkenness to explain nondeterminism ]
Rudich: "The only time I got really drunk... I wound up..."
Student: "... solving complexity problems?"

[ A discussion about lead acid batteries turned into a discussion about lead ass ]
akiva: It turns out that mrwright's ass brought down the roman empire
mrwright: It did; too many romans nibbled on my ass and went insane.

"If you're taking an exam and you don't know the answer, make something up! ... Rarely works. But..." --Manuel Blum

"Oh, I was going to say something less disturbing than that." - tcauchoi
"What were you going to say?" - mrwright
"I don't really remember, but it involved skullfucking." - tcauchoi

"What could go wrong in the paranoid, Kafka-esque world of mathematics? What would a mathematician be afraid of in this situation?" --Mackey
"Turning into a cockroach?" --Tarsis

dl.c:547: error: invalid application of `sizeof' to incomplete type `/usr/include/stdio.h'

"Have you been to a KGB meeting? That's slashdot, realtime." - Matus

"I killed someone!! Aww... sorry..." - Jess, playing UT.

"I don't remember the horses, but I have a vague memory of the swimming pool." --randomly overheard

<jcdavis> After the zombie apocalypse comes, UPMC will make the best CTFWS location ever

*talking about why he can't take 18 bajillion courses*
<ksubrama>I have a 2 hour block of classes from 1:30 to 4:30

O_RDONLY? YA_RDONLY!

-mrwright

At the bacon section of Giant Eagle:
alisag: This is better because it's a smaller package.
mbk: That's the first time I heard a woman say that!

< osobromo> are we going to have a new speech called the "yes we can" speech like mlkjr's "I have a dream speech"?
< jbenedetto> yes we can
< osobromo> lol

<jcdavis>LOL
<jcdavis>My csw ta got a warning for exceeding her bandwidth

< Zannick> Lex Luthor steals 40 cakes.
< Zannick> Lex Luthor is stealing 40 cakes,
< Zannick> Lex Luthor stole 40 cakes.
< Zannick> Lex Luthor will steal 40 cakes.
< Zannick> That's as many as 4 tenses.
< Zannick> And that's terrible.

kjones: I mean, men are so much better than women at everything.
jwatzman: What about giving birth to children?
sully: How many men have you ever heard of that died in childbirth?

edanaher: Why do you have a die button?
cmartens: I don't know! It's not my fault...
avangpat: Your parents assembled you wrong.

alan: this is getting REALLY WEIRD, and i have alisa and pfriedma as friends!

< Elly> > GET / HTTP/1.1
< Elly> HTTP/1.0 304 Shit is so cached

(eforney and lboyle are taking their friend taerimk out to eat over Spring Break, since he has recently recovered from a cold. However, they wish to surprise him, and will not tell him what kind of restaurant they are traveling towards... in English.)
taerimk: Where are we going?
eforney: I'll tell you if you can ask me in Latin.
taerimk: WHERE?
eforney: Actually, I can only tell you what type of restaurant.
taerimk: The Latin word for "where" probably starts with Q, right?
lboyle: I think so.
taerimk: ...QWHERE?!

ksubrama - "Is there any nice way to ..."
de0u - "No."
::class cracks up::

Psyfe: You should buy me a pony.
Rmalecky: Nah, I don't think so. I'll buy you some horsemeat, though.
Psyfe: Can I name her Princess and ride her every day?

djurado: SML/NJ just confirms my suspicions that horrible things come from NJ

< pfriedma> man... all of my cmubash quotes involve sex

<quinn> [during lecture] ...and if you do that, you get a circuit that is either completely on or completely off. But we don't care about that. Pfft! Digital electronics is just a fad!

aij: Wait, why would it teeter?
btlee: Have you ever seen a building just topple over sideways without rocking around a bit first?
mbk: Of course - Booth!

< Elly> oh god I just accidentally lyriced into pine
< Elly> it wants to know whether to import or export my role
< Elly> please send help

gf2e: I think Nintendo is silly. "Can I play with your Wii?"
gf2e: "I'm going to over to Timmy's house to play with his Wii"
gf2e: I thought that big companies hired consultants to make sure that didn't happen.
alisag: On the other hand, if people are sitting around talking about playing with each other's Wii's, then they will be thinking constantly about the product.
gf2e: That's sorta the possible strategy microsoft has with their limited edition Zune (that, or just plain stupidity...)
gf2e: it's $250, comes in white, black, and shitstain.
gf2e: They secretly replaced 100 unsuspecting geeks' zunes with this special color...
gf2e: Can you guess the color?
alisag: Pii?

< j4cbo> ML has plenty of tool support
* j4cbo supports ML

swtaarrs24: we're doing 251
richardepattis: working.equals(chatting)

Student: I do not think that you can make it better
Prof. Alan Frieze: If that were the case, there would be no more slides

<@pyxystyx> I hate when the onion comes true :(

* j4cbo is in nsaphra's room playing with her oscilloscope
< kjones> j4cbo: is that what they call it nowadays

"Oh good, so SDL doesn't use the RGG color model" -mrwright

"[In ancient times,] they had no need to authenticate with someone they'd never met... generally, if you hadn't met someone, you were trying to kill them." - Rudich

Manuel Blum: "Otherwise you're going to hear me drone on and on... at least bring a pillow!"

< robomancer> Zannick: that's no perl!
< Zannick> robomancer: don't be silly.
< Zannick> if it matches .*, it's valid perl6
< robomancer> Zannick: no, i believe things which are actually legible to normal human beings are banned, per the spec

<mjrosenb> so I just came out of the windows cluster and a bunch of people were talking about which compiler was better, c# or java.
<gwillen> KILL THEM ALL. Kill them and burn their bodies to fuel your C compiler

Boriss: "This anime is so gratuituous. I really doubt Asian schoolgirls are always in uniform."
Tom: "Well it's what the Asian market buys."
Anime girl on TV, suddenly bound: "You didn't have to tie me up!"

< mrwright> I'm not *entirely* you!
<@nwf> That's what I think!